One Blue Tree

New Quilt=New Blog Post

2010-09-07T18:25:00.005-05:00

Yes, that is a finished quilt. No, it is not one of the two, no wait, three, that I have had in production since winter. It is an emergency quilt, a quilt needed so urgently by someone that I could not stand it, and not because quilts are warm, although they are, and not because they are made of fabric and thus could possibly be used as a parachute replacement, although I guess they could be, but because she is going through something terrible and I needed to make her something cozy and comforting and cheery and bright. I hope I succeeded.

It started on Friday. With this...

...which turned into this...

...and then this...

...and finally this...

...with such speed my shoulders still ache.

And boy was that photo shoot windy.

Did I mention windy?

Windy.

Damn windy.

Really really windy.

So there she is. I hope Aunt Pam loves her as much as I do (the quilt, not the girl. Aw heck, the girl, too.)

The Frog and the Polar Bear

2009-11-01T09:52:00.002-05:00

Once upon a time, there was a frog and a polar bear.

They decided to go shake down some people for candy.

GIVE US CANDY!!!!

First they went downtown, to see how much they could score.

The terrified townspeople were surprisingly forthcoming.

Frog and Polar Bear were very pleased with their haul. Until Frog ran into her arch nemesis, Scream-Thingy!

But she overcame her momentary fear...

And eventually intimidated him into parting with some candy. Ha! Take that, Scream-Thingy!

Frog and Polar Bear decided to return to their own neighborhood for more mayhem.

They headed off into the night for more candy...

...before returning home, victorious with their spoils.

Little did they know that whilst they were gone, other creatures had descended on their home to do the same thing....

Gosh darn creatures of the night!

That's okay. Polar Bear is scheming for next year, claws at the ready.

I love this site, and I love this backpack....

2009-09-12T19:59:00.001-05:00

Well, what with the girl about to start preschool, I have of course thought about making her a backpack. Which I probably will. But wouldn't it be so much easier, and probably cuter, if I could just win this one?

Made by Rae Jackpack Backpack GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

Thanks to Grosgrain and Made by Rae for having this giveaway. Fingers crossed!

Life and Procrastination Intervene

2009-08-11T08:07:00.007-05:00

So, yeah, it has been three months since I last updated this thing. Yikes. But in my defense, I just . . . had other things to do. Okay, yeah, I admit it. Not an excuse. But since I am mainly writing this apology and defense to myself, it turns out that it's also . . . really pathetic. Let us move on!

I finally finished Gavin's quilt. Hooray! I bought the fabric and the pattern (Mixtape quilt from here) a few months ago, and had been slowly slogging through the piecing and the sashing and the cursing and the crying until finally, it had to be quilted. So I cursed and cried my way through the quilting until finally, after all of that, it had to be bound. So I cursed and cried and swore I had entered a time loop as I painstakingly hand-stitched the binding to the backing until finally, gloriously, it was done. No really. Proof!

I used a bunch of space themed fabrics for my little astronaut (he knows almost all the planets by now, by picture and name.)

And here's the back, pieced from the remaining chunks of space fabric.

Here is the binding. Love the binding, worship the binding!

So, as you can see, I have been doing other things. And now I can start something new and ignore this blog for another three months! Awesome!

Wild

2009-05-03T21:23:00.003-05:00

Just a few photos this week (and hey, didn't I tell ya I'd be updating my blog more often?) from a hike we took today at Rouge River. Just flora pics this time, I'll update with fawna (i.e., my children) at a later date.

I love taking pictures of wildflowers, even if my knees get a little dirty. Most people don't even notice them, I think, they are so small and unassuming. Take this red trillium, for example.

Henning actually spotted these, and they were all hiding at the base of a tree, their heads pointing at the ground. I had to practically unhinge my neck to get this.

Trout lilies are a little more profuse and obvious.

Here's another one from two weeks ago, gettin' it on with the local bee scene.

I finally found some Dutchman's Breeches this week, although not as many as last year.

The bloodroot were still out in force, here with passenger!

And finally, I stumbled upon a sign that the alien invasion has already begun on earth.

Click through and look at the big version of this picture (just go to "all sizes"). It is truly bizarre. The little green alien apartment buildings were all over the place! It has begun! Call Tom Cruise!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this tromp through the forest. See ya later!

2nd Birthday

2009-04-28T11:18:00.005-05:00

Yes, my little bear cub turned two yesterday.

We celebrated first this weekend with a trip to the zoo (Gramma in tow) on the hottest day of the year so far. Miles of gleaming white Canadian flesh were on the roam, and it all seemed to be at the zoo. We had a great time anyway, although, as always seems to be the case, the adults were more excited than the kiddlins.

Vala certainly enjoyed this turtle, however.

Gavin preferred the machinery, as always. He followed one little boy who had a camera around for like ten minutes, pretending to be interested in whatever the boy was pointing at and talking about, while really just trying to get a closer look at his equipment.

Meanwhile, Vala communed with some wildlife.

And the wildlife communed right back. But the idyllic time was soon at an end, and he waved goodbye...

...and traipsed off into the sunset.

Poor heartbroken little monkey. Mine, not the furry one.

On her actual birthday, I baked a cake from scratch (!) and we had a little teeny birthday celebration, just the four of us. Here is a short photo essay about our day.

"Look! Mama made a cake! Yay!"

"The cake! Mama! Give us some cake!! It's right there!!!"

"We get it. We're cute. CUT THE CAKE."

Ahhh, the joys of photographing children. Ready for another photo essay? I thought you were.

"Oh my gosh. What is he doing?"

"Does he know he's setting my cake on fire?"

"Should I tell him? Nooo, he'll figure it out."

"I hope...."

Well, happy birthday, little monkey.

I still can't believe it.

(as always, click on over to flickr for more zoo and bday fun)

Visiting

2009-04-19T10:29:00.003-05:00

I always find that, when I have guests, I actually see the city I claim to live in. Xan and Chris came this weekend (and still are "here", i.e. downtown) for a comic convention, and stayed with us Thursday night. And check it out! Stone-'enge is downtown!

It's about ten feet tall, and yes, the little children were dancing around it. I don't have any decent pictures of this, however, so you will have to wait for Xan and Chris to give me some.

And look, the kids were as astonished as I was...

(okay, they were actually watching a plane land on the island, but hey.)

I don't have a witty caption for this photo. Aren't they cute?

Before this, we went to the Fickle Pickle for lunch. And look, isn't that a famous comic book artist?

Vala is such a big fan. I totally should have kept that menu. Might be worth a mint one day.

And of course, Gavin monopolized Xan's computer as soon as she got it out.

Well, that's all for now. See ya!

(as always, click on a picture to get to my photos in flickr. Just click on "Scifimama's photostream" to see a few more!)

Obligatory Easter Post

2009-04-12T12:23:00.003-05:00

It appears I have become a C and E blogger. Well, C, B, and E (Christmas, birthdays, and Easter). But I am truly intending to blog at least once a week from now on, as I am beginning to miss it. Facebook just doesn't feel as personal. Anyway, here's a few pics from our bunny-filled weekend.

Aaaaah, the baskets before the kidstorm.

Yep, that's more like it. She had that Kinder egg unwrapped and eaten before the boy had even come downstairs.

He started out fairly slow, just nibbling on his bunny and gazing over his pastel riches.

The girl and the hopping bunny and chickie.

Candy lego bricks. Let me repeat that. CANDY LEGO BRICKS, PEOPLE.

Egg dyeing, of course. Vala was interested for about, oh, ten seconds tops.

Fun with macro. I love easter!

Gavin is 4 years old!

2009-01-23T13:03:00.004-05:00

I am a few days late, but Gavin did indeed turn 4 on January 19th. See?

I made him a cake. And no, I am not blind or palsied, even though it might look that way from the wavy decorating. He enjoyed it, anyway.

And here is one great reason to have children.

Have you ever seen more wonder and delight in the rising smoke from a blown out birthday candle?

I certainly haven't.

Halloween! Ah, crap....

2008-11-02T22:38:00.006-05:00

So, I decided at the last minute on the kids' costumes. The boy was dead set on wearing the bunny suit his Auntie Xan got for him last Christmas, and who am I to argue? But I couldn't leave it at that, so I decided that he could be the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, and the girl would of course be Alice. I decided this, oh, five days before Halloween. For his costume I just added a little coat I found at the thrift store for 1.50, and then magicked a pocket watch in about five minutes out of a Nutella lid, aluminum foil, and electrical tape. For her costume, however, I sewed a little blue dress out of an old sheet, and a pinafore-type apron out of some leftover white fabric, and then went wacky and decided to knit her some hair (from the Hallowig pattern on Knitty) on October 30th. I raced to the finish with all of it, finishing the hair at 5:42 on October 31. Almost as soon as I finished, I heard some crying from the backyard, but knew the kids were with their papa, so no worries. Cue ominous music. Henning came in with the girl, who was still sniffling, as I was hurriedly putting the finishing touches on our front porch decor. Just as I was finished, and starting to costume the kids, Vala fell face down on the sofa and immediately began screaming. After falling onto A SOFA CUSHION. Cue triple chord signal of tension. She continued to cry, clutching her arm, and I thought it looked kind of...pink, and swollen. I tried to move her thumb. She screamed. I screamed, at my husband, and said something really helpful like "What the hell happened in the backyard??!?!" He told me she fell off the swing to the ground, a distance of maybe two feet. Nothing serious could have happened, right? I messed around with her wrist. She screamed again. I gently moved her fingers. Scream.

I suddenly realized I had a homemade Alice in Wonderland costume that was going to wind up laying in a box until maybe next year, when she will probably decide she wants to be a bear or a race car driver or a Pussycat doll. Or, let's be honest, Alice, at which point the costume will be ridiculously too small.

And so, Vala spent Halloween in the Emergency Room with her Papa, getting a wee little cast on her wee little broken arm, while I took my, now context-less, White Rabbit-garbed son trick-or-treating. See?

Gavin with his Gramma, just before the big event.

Gotta love those ears.

But all was not lost. I just tossed the costumes on the kids the next day, and ran 'em around the park, all to create the following photo essay, entitled "Alice and her broken arm give the Rabbit a hard time."

Alice, complete with cast, races into the park to look for trouble.

"Is that a Rabbit carrying a pocketwatch?"

Following....

...the White...

...Rabbit.

"You wanna go down there?"

"Here you go, Alice."

"I'm supposed to eat this?"

"No way."

"Alice?"

Thank you, thank you. And now for the curtain call. As the White Rabbit, please welcome Gavin!

And introducing, in the roll of Alice with the broken arm, Vala!

Give em a hand, folks! And thank you for coming. Don't forget to tip your waiter!

(p.s. if you are saying to yourself, "hey, i thought she said she knitted some hair! where's the hair?" i have to tell you that, unfortunately, at completion, I had made it too short, and it looked, in the words of Gramma, "a little more monty python than alice in wonderland." ah well.)

Okay, will add blog post soon....

2008-06-05T08:31:00.001-05:00

....I promise. No, really!

In the meantime, enjoy this photo of Vala in front of her quilt.

Spring?!?

2008-03-19T10:00:00.004-05:00

These crocuses are not in my yard. They are on my kitchen counter. I am desperate for some spring color, so a recent trip to the grocery store left me clutching a little pot of crocuses and some cut tulips. And don't they just say "Spring" to you?

Well, certainly more than this short photo essay about Vala's experience in our backyard this weekend.

"Hmmmmmm, what's this?"

Could it be...tasty?"

"I believe it is!"

"Just...a little...more...."

And one more photo essay, for those of you wondering if Vala is indeed walking....

The answer would be "Oh, yes." You have to imagine her gleeful squealing as she runs toward me. Yes, "runs" is a more apt description at this point.

One final "Up Yours" to winter....

(and these are Canadian tulips, by the way. It's spring somewhere up here!)

It's the strangest thing...

2008-02-12T17:53:00.000-05:00

...but I can't get a really good picture of Vala. Something always seems to get in the way. Ya know? Like there is something not quite right about the picture, but I just can't quite put my finger on it. Here, let me show you:

Ya see? Huh. I mean, she's a beautiful little girl, and I have a good camera, but look, here it is again:

That indescribable something. Huh.

Ooh! Ooh! It's on the tip of my....

I've got it! It's her eyes!

See how one's got an eyelid crease and one doesn't? Isn't that odd? That MUST be it!

I think. I'll have to think about this.

The Playground

2007-10-23T09:47:00.000-05:00

Two entries in three days??? Why, yes!!

I had to show these pictures I took at the playground yesterday. It was the kind of day my ma would call "bluebird", and which I would call "abso-freakin-lutely fan-f#&@ing-tastic". The sky, the sky, oh my god. That's probably why the pictures feature the sky so prominently. And I have discovered that if I want decent pictures of the boy, I can't say, "Hey, Gavin! Smile!" This usually resorts in a look of glum impatience. It's much better to give him something to do, take a gazillion pictures, and hope for the best. So here's the best.

And don't think I forgot the girl. Although her favorite thing is to be held while I am pushing the boy on the swing, which resorts in much giggling, she also enjoys the swing herself.

Oh, and did you know she has two teeth?

Yeah I can't believe it either. She's sitting up, too. Six months old already. I swear, babyhood flies by so quickly, I almost can't believe she was ever a little swimmer in the dark, the secret passenger, that silent witness to my heartbeat. And I admit, sometimes my heart gets a little lonely in there.

My bladder's damn glad to have his room back, though.

i heart autumn

2007-10-21T09:53:00.000-05:00

So we actually managed to go on a hike with the Kiddlins this weekend, and found some fall color.

And I also managed to take pictures of the girl in the adorable sweater and hat Sherry made for her. At first she was not amused...

But she grew to like it.

I am appreciating having a photo subject who will actually sit still. Gavin, on the other hand, moves constantly, so photos in which he is smiling and not fuzzy are few. So here's a fuzzy smiling one.

I will refrain from posting a non smiling pic, but believe me when I tell you, that boy can bring on the morose.

Well, not feeling terribly creative today, so that will have to content you. Now get off that computer and go play in the leaves.

w

Harlot-Happy

2007-08-22T00:03:00.000-05:00

I've met her! I have finally met the blogger to which all other bloggers should owe allegiance! The Yarn Harlot! She of the Sarah Jessica Parker hair and smouldering lawn! Oh, and she held my baby.

Great. Now I can't ever give Vala a bath. She will be seventeen, with long greasy dreadlocks to the ground, and asking me, "Ma, why can't I bathe? Everybody at school does!" and I will have to shake my head sadly and say, "Yes, but not everybody at school was held by the Yarn Harlot! As an infant! The Harlot!"

Okay, seriously, I had a great time finally seeing the great Stephanie Pearl McPhee in the flesh. She is absolutely hysterical. Like, stand up comic funny. Stories I already knew from the blog took on new life, some complete with Jamaican accents. I of course totally flaked at the book signing, unable to put two words together to make actual conversation. Vala talked more than I did. Of course, that was satisfying, watching my smiley baby charm everybody there. And I met her! The Yarn Harlot! She signed my books! I love her! Aaaaagh!

It's okay, I'm all right now. Just let me go collapse in the corner in a little sweaty ball 'til I regain my composure.

Until then, enjoy some photos.

Don't you mess with this girl's umbrella.

That's better. See? Can't we all just get along?

Oh my god. There goes any doubt that these are his children....

And finally, here is how my son leaves a restroom. Potty seat, stool, and Scientific American.

Out of retirement....

2007-07-14T11:10:00.000-05:00

Hey, folks! I don't even want to know the date of my last post, it's so embarrassing. So we will move on, no?

I think I will let the new little lady speak for me. I'm sure you will forgive me after she explains the situation.

Vala Speaks! from scifimama and Vimeo.

There. I knew that would do it.

Yes, there is a new addition to the One Blue Tree family. And our dear little Vala Margarethe is quite a talker, even at 2.5 months. Gavin loves his little sister already, although the other day, when his grandma said, "Why don't you talk to the baby? Maybe then she'll stop crying!", Gavin looked at her little sad face and said, very firmly,

"STOP CRYING."

Ah well.

My life in pictures

2006-11-20T22:32:00.000-05:00

Okay, so not really my whole life, but a good chunk of the past two months. For example, the hubbo's parents came for a visit. We took them up in the CN Tower, where we discovered that although most adults get the willies from standing on the glass floor, my son can't get enough:

For those of you who don't know, this is what he's looking at:

Then, came pumpkins and more pumpkins.

Oh, and the boy's favorite new word is "pumpkin", which you can hear about twenty times a day. Usually referring to pumpkin shaped objects, but occasionally referring to Christmas lights, smiley faces, or rotund cartoon characters.

I also discovered that Canadians have a real knack for sophisticated phrasing on signs. Well, at least this one.

Oh, and then there was this tiny man who could lift a car with his pinky, who insisted on traipsing around the neighborhood in a cape and asking complete strangers for candy.

He then took off on his tiny supersonic vehicle.

Oh, and he told me to let you know that Superman is soon to get a little brother or sister. Sometime in April. Don't tell Lex Luthor.

Okay, yeah, supposed to add blog entries, right....

2006-08-30T09:28:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the long silence (again!). Don't know what is up with me. Okay, that's a lie. I know exactly what's up. I'm doing other things. I really don't know how people can have full time jobs, three kids, and still keep up with their blogs every freaking day. It takes me so long to think of something to blog about, I usually give up.

Anyway, in the works right now, I FINISHED my NOVEL. That's right. Well, the first draft anyway. Finally. It's only taken me, oh, FIVE YEARS. That's just sad. So all writing energy recently has been funneled into editing and revising, a process I've never had to do on something so, well, long. I have resorted to reading a book called "Revising your Fiction", since I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. It has actually been really helpful, even if the examples aren't always. I mean, I respect F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway, but what I've written ain't exactly Gatsby, you know what I mean? It's a fantasy novel. Not exactly Great American Novel material. Not that a fantasy novel can't be that. Just not this one. But the advice has worked very well so far. Extraneous words are being excised with abandon. Passive voice abolished. Narrative structure reaarranged. All so that I can get my husband off my back about this and move onto something new.

He thinks it is publishable. I think he's cracked. I have a very good friend who has written two fantasy novels that I have read for her. She is an amazing writer. Her books are both wonderfully written and quick to read. She remains unpublished, even after having an agent for a short while. So I prefer to be realistic about my chances.

In knitting news, I finished something a while ago, took pictures, and never blogged it. So here it is, for the first time ever, the Canteen bag!

Isn't she a beaut? I've actually been using it as a purse for a while. The pattern is from Interweave Knits, the yarns are Merino Style from Knit Picks, and Lion Brand Landscapes, and it was felted in a front loader. Ta da! I loved making this, even if the knitting was "Extreme Knitting". I think I finished it in two days, and then spent a week recovering. My shoulders hurt so bad I couldn't turn my head. I don't know what I was thinking.

I even lined this bag, which turned out all right, even though I made the lining from old jeans, so the purse weighs six tons. I've had to tie a knot in the strap because it has stretched so much. It seems to be stable now though.

So that's that, update about my accomplishments. And yes, someday I will actually post photos of my new house.

Just not today.

I'm here! I'm back! I'm not dead!

2006-07-08T08:33:00.000-05:00

Hey there, all...one of you. One Blue Tree is back in business. I can't even begin to tell you how stressful the past couple of months have been, but they are over now. Thank goodness. We are now firmly ensconced in our new semi-detached in Markham, Ontario. It has taken an incredibly large amount of spray cleaner and cardboard box removal, but it is starting to feel like our house. Wait, I hear you cry, last time we heard you were planning a move! How is it that you are now moved and we have heard nothing? I have a great answer for you. I...just haven't written anything. I know. Incredible. But here is a short synopsis, with approximate dates:

May 20thish...House hunting trip. Originally planning to rent, we spend four days looking at lease properties. The final day, our real estate agent convinces us to look at houses to buy. We make an offer. It doesn't go through. We resign ourselves to living in a hotel for a month once we get there until we find something. Meanwhile, our amazing American real estate agent sells our house in two weeks for full asking price with no hitches. We think this means the rest of our move with be problemlos, as they say in Germany.

May 21stish....We make an offer on another property we saw the day previously. We get it. Mild panic.

May twenty-somethingish....Packing people come three days before we were expecting. Medium panic. Much garbage and unneeded crap is subsequently wrapped carefully in paper and placed in large, unhelpfully labeled boxes, like "Living Room--Misc." The woman coordinating our move will soon prove to be incredibly unhelpful and incompetent. Ah well.

May 27thish....We drive to my ma's for a little r and r before the final push to Toronto. This comes after three days of living in a house full of boxes, and packing the car to the roof with all the stuff left over after the boxes were finally removed. Once again, I am shocked at how incredibly long it takes to empty a house, even when trained professionals do the big stuff. Each subsequent bag of crap placed in the car takes a little piece of my soul with it until I am a raving lunatic leaving half empty detergent bottles as "presents" for the new owners, just so I don't have to walk to the car one more damn time.

May 31st...The drive to Toronto. Goes relatively smoothly. Immigration takes an hour. Immigration agent lady causes heart palpitations by repeatedly muttering things like "Well that doesn't make sense!" and "This can NOT be right," before telling us not to listen to her, and that everything is fine, only it's been prepared by a lawyer and so is completely unreadable. We understand completely.

June 1st...Henning's first day of work. My first day of living in a luxury downtown hotel, complete with spa-quality shampoos and, my favorite, complimentary incense service and delivery of healing stones to put under your pillow. Not as fun as you might think, seeing as how I am accompanied by a 17 month old and a dog. I would have preferred complimentary diapering service.

June 3rd...I get the heck out of town to visit my (very pregnant) college roommate in Napanee. Anything to get away from my zen inspired, incense stinking hotel suite is an improvement, but the three days I spend in Napanee are incredibly wonderful, and I love my college roommate with a deep and abiding love for her hospitality and patience with dog and baby and me invading her idyllic country retreat. Thank you a million times over, Julie! Just remember, don't catch the knife.

June 7th...Closing. Hot, spicy panic. I won't go into it, just know that we had to write an additional check we didn't know we were going to have to write, in order to finally get the keys for a house we had only seen once a month ago. Terrifying? Yes. Definitely. Absolutely. With keys finally in hand, I troop off to our new home.

June 8th...How, oh how could someone leave their house like this? Did they think cat poop in the basement would be a nice present to leave? Rotting food in the deep freezer? The roll out garbage can full of mold and covered in cigarette ash? The spilled...something on the carpet in the bedroom? I am generally not an anal person, but I was down on my knees with a scrubber for about twenty four hours straight. We rented a carpet cleaner, and after my husband shampooed every single square inch of carpet, the house began to smell like...nothing, which was an improvement of gargantuan proportions.

June 9th...Boxes, boxes, more boxes, some furniture, and a few more boxes are finally delivered. (Do I need to go into the details about how our closing was originally on the 9th, until the moving company told us the furniture would be here by the seventh, so we moved the closing to the seventh, only to have the moving company tell us, oh, wait, the furniture won't be there until the ninth? Do I? No? Thank you.)

June 10th to the present....Unpacking. Painting. More unpacking. Hanging things. Enjoying our new awesome neighborhood full of children Gavin's age. My Ma came last weekend, and the final boxes still located in the middle of our living space were emptied, and we painted my shit-brown bedroom a very soothing blue. The original color of our bedroom inspired some hilarity, when I commented how paint colors are always named pleasant sounding things. "Beach House". "Coffee with Cream". "Sunrise". I suggested naming paint colors after what they actually resemble, in which case my bedroom was painted in "Runny Stool". Our powder room? "Wet Newspaper". The room which was to be the boy's room? "Pepto and Robitussin".

Anyway, that is the saga of our second international move in three years. So now I live in Canada. Crazy, eh?

The Good News...

2006-04-19T09:51:00.000-05:00

...is that we are MOVING to TORONTO. Yes, we are finally up and skidaddling (sp?) from the heat of the south, and going back to the north. My hubbo wanted to move to Canada from the start (we moved here from Germany) and now we actually get to. I am also excited since my very good friend and roommate from college lives in Napanee, Ontario, so I will actually get to see her more than once every four years.

The Bad News? We are MOVING. To TORONTO. Anyone who has ever moved, and especially moved to another country, knows what I mean. At least this time there is no trans-atlantic voyage involved. But the selling of the house is what is currently filling our days and nights. We have been furiously (and I mean furiously, as in, yelling and screaming) renovating the bathroom, which has been plagued by mistakes, miscalculations, goofy non-standard building practices of the early 80s, and lots of spackle. Loads. Gallons, maybe. The wallpaper removal might actually turn out to be the highlight of this whole exercise. And that is after I decided that people who put up wallpaper DESPISE other people. I mean that. I felt the hate with every square milimeter of paper I scraped from the wall.

But hey, it's gone now! Yay!

As for the rest of it? I don't want to talk about it.

No, really.

Oh, all right, if you really must know.

THE GRAND LIST OF GRIEVANCES
1. scraping of wallpaper left many gouges in unprimed wallboard.
2. sink, once removed and destroyed, could not be replaced with appropriate size due to undercabinet drawers.
3. builders of house put holes in walls in order to fit standard sink. appropriate coverings of said holes were sold out of local Lowe's
4. ill-advised silicone "fix" for separating cieling made for bad paint job.
5. self-proclaimed "wallpaper hater" sara of one blue tree must install wallpaper border to cover bad paint job.
6. renovating couple waiting for sixth shoe to drop. can you actually have more than two shoes dropping?

There you go. Read 'em and weep.

Bikers and Bunnies and Bubbles, oh my!

2006-03-27T15:38:00.000-05:00

I spent a good part of my Sunday attempting to strip wallpaper in our guest bathroom, an exercise which has so far proven more frustrating than fruitful. I just hate how you have to get the timing exactly right or you're screwed. Spray remover, wait fifteen minutes, scrape. Wait too long, it dries out, don't wait long enough, paper doesn't come off. So my wonderful plan of spraying the entire wall slowly, then scraping, so that I always came to the next section after 15 minutes would have worked great, if it hadn't taken me a half an hour to scrape one freakin' section. Argh. Frustration.

So imagine my delight at being diverted from this torture at noticing an inordinately large number of motorcycles parked in front of my house. And also imagine me not noticing them until I looked out a window. Seriously, these must have been the nicest bikers, ever. The boy was down for his nap and didn't let out a peep.

My next door neighbor lady, who seems as mild mannered and suburban a mom as you can possibly get, has a big ol' hog. I knew this already. However, knowing that she occasionally rides her 'bike and having an entire biker gang camped in the street are two entirely different things. And I'm not complaining! I actually thought it was kind of cool, and as I said, they were super nice and didn't do any of that revving of motors that makes me despise other sorts of motorcycle enthusiasts. And look how pretty the bikes are, shining in the sun.

There were about twenty bikes out there, eight alone in front of my house. When they took off again, it was like a parade, I swear. Well, a parade of one. I think I was the only neighbor watching. Probably everyone else was cowering inside in abject terror.

Here's a nice springy shot of my kitchen, with man and boy. The strange floating bunnies are actually a mobile I made. I copied it from one I found online, because I desperately wanted it, but it was made of paper, and I wanted one that would last in a house with a toddler. (So yes, it is technically a copywrite violation, but I ain't selling it, so no harm done.) I made this one of craft foam, and it has been entertaining us all very well. Mobiles are fascinating, because they never stop moving. And you can blow a puff of air from across the room, and they will react a minute later. Amazing.

Also amazing are these. Zubbles. Read all about their invention and their inventor here. Took the poor guy ten years. Yikes.

And look at these guys. Aren't I the luckiest girl in the world?

Ta for now.

Links, Links, Links! ( and then maybe some more links....)

2006-03-22T14:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, first up in the smorgasbord o' links (multicultural, ain't I?) are craft blogs I visit but do not have in my blog list to the right. Why don't I have them there? Don't laugh, but it's because I like to visit them infrequently so that I can read a whole bunch of new stuff at once, and I use my own blog as a reference for sites I go to every day. Dorky, eh? This should probably change, since a few of the blogs I go to I can only get to by going through certain other blogs, and it gets kinda confusing. I should just put them all in the list at the right, but then where's the adventure?

First up, the aforementioned Loobylu. Then there's Wee Wonderfuls, Angry Chicken, A Bird in the Hand, and Little Birds. Finally, my two new favorites, Whip Up and Thrift Craft. Whip Up is a collaborative craft blog that is, as Kay of masondixonknitting put so perfectly, a rabbit hole.

Need some cool free knitting patterns? There are always Knitty and Magknits, of course, but have you seen Hello Yarn? (I must make the skull cap) How about The Garter Belt? Most of the Garter Belt's patterns are for sale, but look like they are truly worth it. I picked out seven or eight things I'd like to make. Also worth seeing? See Eunny Knit! Great tutorials and lovely patterns.

Next, funnies I have found, such as You Knit What???, which you could call the Gallery of Regrettable Knitwear. Hilarious, sarcastic, occasionally mean, and totally horrific. I spent all day yesterday going through the archives. Also, have you seen the Lego Death Star? I might need to get one to go alongside my 3D puzzle Millenium Falcon. (I think the comments on this guy's photos are hysterical. Make sure you read the titles of the photos first, or you might get confused.)

Oh, and now I MUST OWN EVERYTHING THIS COMPANY PRODUCES. LIKE THIS, AND THIS, AND THIS. Unfortunately, they don't do retail sales from their site, and the sites they have listed don't actually sell all of their products. Something that MUST BE REMEDIED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I'M NOT KIDDING. So, somebody get on that, 'K?

Finally, if you like movies, read this guy's blog. Always interesting, always informative.

All right, that's all for now. Sorry if you visited everything I just listed and completely wasted your entire day. Think of it as "creative research". Bye for now!

Best Craft Blog?!?

2006-03-15T10:28:00.000-05:00

Okay, I wasn't really paying that much attention to the Bloggies (awards for Blogs, naturally) but when I found out that the Best Craft Blog winner was this, I was a little shocked. I mean, come on. Sure, they make stuff, but I'm sorry, a home made arc welder? Revamping an NES to make it look like a PS2?!? Do these strike anyone as a little, ahem, male? I hate to cry sexism in this day and age, but look at the other blogs nominated: Loobylu, NotMartha, Yarn Harlot, and Angry Chicken. All brilliant, all worthy. And all of the softer, female craft variety. Were the only people to vote teenage boys? I can admit that Yarn Harlot tends to stick to knitting and spinning, but NotMartha is an equal opportunity craft site. One that I constantly visit, incidentally. Okay, admittedly, the winner does have a "Make your own sextant" link, but I really don't think I will be making a sextant anytime soon. And it just doesn't seem very craft-y to me. Maybe I need to look up "craft" in the dictionary...

Okay, so by definition, craft is "to make by hand" so I guess it qualifies. I just find it annoying that the other sites make by hand, and beautify, and this site makes by hand to have nifty gadgets. Could just be a personality conflict, I guess.

edited to add: Hey, Loobylu won for best Australian weblog! That's at least a bit of a relief.

Okay, I might be a little crazy

2006-03-14T19:23:00.000-05:00

I love Easter. It's not that I'm some super christian or anything. In fact, you could say I am the dreaded A word. But I love Easter.

It's probably just that celebration of spring thing. And the bunnies. There is nothing I like better than a stuffed bunny at easter. We got one every year when I was a child. And there is something about filling your house with bunnies and candy and bunnies that appeals to me.

That is probably why I bought all of this.

I think one of the main reasons I had a child was so that I could feel less guilty about buying this kind of stuff. But come on! How could I resist? How could anyone resist the...

Bunny Paratroopers, for example? Oh, they work great, by the way.

And how about the...

Tower of Bunnies? Could you really truly walk by this at the grocery store, and not covet it? I know I couldn't. My favorite part is the little bit of text on the upper right, "Fun for Everybunny!" Everybunny! I love that shit!

And finally, in a gesture to a family story that always seems to come up when you get two or three of my cousins together, we have the...

Duckie Sunglasses.

Okay, so there isn't much knitting content today. In fact, we might just not mention how INCREDIBLY LONG IT TAKES TO KNIT A %#@^& SOCK.

Instead, more pictures of my camelias.

and once more, after the rain:

Ahhhhhh.

Spring, Sprang, Sprung

2006-03-11T08:44:00.000-05:00

My camelia bushes are currently glorious, which makes me feel better about the fast approaching hell that is summer around here. (it could be that we move to a somewhat cooler climate, soon, but deals are still underway)

So here are some pictures of my new favorite flowers. These are camelias, right?

First, a white one:

And a pink one:

The pink bush:

Now wait a minute. What's that?

There. In the bush. I can almost see it....

Oh! It's my Bay Window Bear! I could hardly see him, what with his green and fuschia shirt. Yes, I knit a bear for a nice little charity that gives handknit bears to orphans in Jamaica. The free pattern(link to pdf) made for a cute little bear, but the original is supposed to be wearing a sweater and a scarf. In Jamaica?!? I don't think so. So my little guy is keeping cool in a short sleeved t-shirt.

Now he just needs a shoebox and some postage. Wouldn't it be great if we could travel to Jamaica like that?

Magic Loop!

2006-03-07T11:34:00.000-05:00

Oh, Magic Loop, how I love thee. Most of the time, anyway. I have started trying, once again, to knit socks, despite my better instincts. It's not that I don't like socks, per se, or that I think handknit socks are pointless and time consuming. I like handknit socks. What I hate, most egregiously, are those damn tiny dps.

Now, you have to know a little about me. I am 6 feet tall, and I have exceedingly large bones. That is NOT a euphemistically kind way of saying that I am fat. I have really big hands, so big that a friend of mine (a friend, mind you) compared them to hams. And he was a man. I play the double bass, after trying the violin and cello and finding them way too delicate. So, hands, big. Is it any wonder that I feel like a giant trying to reassemble a broken birdhouse constructed of toothpicks when I attempt a sock?

Now, I have made a pair of socks. One pair, for my mama, from 6 strand Regia. Those were ok. The needles were large enough that I didn't feel like I would rather stab one of those tiny, pointy little needles in my eye rather than juggle those damn things in my hands for one more freaking round. And I made another sock, from the regular 4 strand Regia. See?

The problem is this. I figured, in my early knitting days, that if I just used a slightly bigger needle than was called for, the number of cast on stitches would go down, and I wouldn't have to spend quite so much time making the thing. So what I made, basically, is a completely unwearable sock. The stitches are so loose that you feel like you have just slipped chain mail made of dog hair onto your foot. So this sock remains just this. A lone sock, never to have his trusty sock mate. Just imagine how lonely.

So what possessed me to start a Jaywalker sock on size 0 dps? I dunno. I guess I just got tired of reading, on other knitting blogs, how much they loved knitting socks. And I found some Regia in Germany that I liked the color of. So I cast on for the bigger size.

All those who have made Jaywalkers can spot the problem here immediately. The pattern calls for size 1 needles. I wanted to make wearable socks, this time, and was scared off by the larger needles, and figured my gauge would be a little larger anyway. So I used the 0s. No, I didn't swatch. If I swatched, there would be no story, and who wants that?

The first two inches were nightmarish, annoying, frustrating. And beautiful. I kept stopping every row or two to admire it. I showed my husband the two inches of sock with pride, and he dutifully agreed that it was the loveliest sock he had ever seen. I kept my weeping over the dps to myself. I never let on that each needle I traversed felt like a mountain scaled, only to fall back to the bottom again as I reached the next, a Sisyphean task. I cursed Continental style as being a method only useful for long stretches of ribbing on sweaters, and completely useless on dps for a sock.

That nagging voice at the back of my mind? The one that kept whispering that the sock looked awfully small, especially for such a large boned gal as I? I ignored it for as long as I could, finally succumbing to its seductive pull only after researching Magic Loop online. I could try this, I thought, but what size needle to buy? I had to check the size of the sock. I slipped it on some scrap yarn, and slipped it on my foot. It stopped right at my heel. It was never going to fit over it.

So, rather than add eight stitches to the cast on number, something that caused me to feel a little queasy, I decided to use the called for needle size, and try Magic Loop. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a way to knit socks on one long long circular needle, preferrably an Addi Turbo. Google it, there are plenty of online tutorials.

And I have to tell you, I love Magic Loop. It is so much faster than dps, so much easier, and once you have the hang, feels nearly the same as knitting flat.

Magic %$#@& Loop!

Then, the Incident. The Incident involved much cursing, crying, hyperventilating, and, eventually, the use of one of those tiny crochet hooks from Oma. You see, one bad thing about Magic Loop is, well, the Loop. The Loop likes to swallow your working yarn when you set your work down. The Loop is ever hungry. The Loop is a nemesis worthy of the capital letter. So last night, I picked up my second attempt at a sock, and tried to arrange it so I could start on the next round. Huh, that's funny, I thought. The yarn is looped around the Loop. So I juggled the Loop and the needle points around to free the working yarn. And somehow, it was now double looped. Hmmmmm, I thought, that's odd. I pushed the needles through the Loop, and straightened things out. Triple looped. Hysterical laughter started to rise from my belly, but I pushed it down. I can fix this, I thought. I have always been able to untangle xmas lights, rope, extension cords, I can certainly untangle one strand of yarn. I examined the loops carefully. I followed the path of the yarn with my needle points. I pushed them once more through the Loop. I straightened things out, sure everything would be okay. Quadruple looped. At this point, the panicked hyperventilating began. It only stopped when I realized I just had to knit to the other side of the sock, and slip the loops off the needle point. Oh ho ho, silly me, I thought, and merrily knit my way across. I discovered half way that I didn't have enough stitches between pattern stitches. There were seven rather than eight. Ruh Roh. I had dropped a stitch TWO ROWS BACK right at the increases. So then there was much cursing and use of the aforementioned crochet hook on the dropped stitch and the two others I dropped as I was trying to get everything back on the needles in the right order.

Exceedinly long story short, I am back on track. We'll just have to see if this sock ends up a bachelor, or one half of a commited relationship. Right now, I'm not even sure if he will ever be able to walk. Just gonna have to take it one day at a time

Here, the lovely Jaywalker sock begun. On the right, too small version done on size 0 dps. On the left, just right version done Magic Loop style.

Edited to add: Just one more thing! Found the craziest thing, today. Check this out. Click on the little flock of sheep on the right for a knitted object I now desperately covet. What size needles would you call those? 100?

Oma's Sewing Box

2006-03-02T12:44:00.000-05:00

Okay, the Oma news just goes on and on. While I was in Germany, my hubby rummaged around in Oma's sewing box for me, to find any knitting needles that hadn't been purged by his mother. He only found some rather decrepit steel dps, which I declined to take. However, there were further treasures to be discovered, which I only found when I decided to take a peek in ye old sewing box myself, when I was on a search for a yarn needle.

First, an overview of some oddments:

They are, clockwise from top, some Regia and Woleza reinforcing yarn for socks, black elastic thread, two packages of Prym hooks and eyes, Inox plastic crochet hooks, teeny tiny wooden crochet hooks, a sewing rolly thingamajiggy (does anyone know what those are called? it's the black thing lower left), and five small pearlescent buttons. The wooden crochet hooks are the craziest things I have ever seen. You can barely see the hook at the end on a couple of them. Oh, and the big wooden stick? Actually hides the smallest rug hooking hook I have ever seen in my life. What in the world could you make with such a thing?

But the best is yet to come.

First, some more buttons:

The big white ones in the upper left are beautiful mother of pearl, an inch and a half across. The ones just to their right are also mother of pearl, as are the small six sided ones below. The two yellowish ones to the left look like bone to me, but I don't really know. The green Art Deco thing to the right is actually a clasp. Would look great on a capelet. There are various other singles on the lower right, and when I get a chance, I will photograph them so you can see just how incredible they are. I can't believe I just used the word "incredible" to label buttons, but there you go. I'm going insane.

Finally, the find of all finds:

These are copper monogram plates. I don't know what else to call them. They were in a little paper envelope, with another little envelope holding a piece of blue tint. You tint the monogram onto your fabric, and then you can embroider it. Why oh why don't they make things like this anymore? Now it's all computer files and sewing machines that embroider for you. I am so glad I have these, as memories of my husband's grandparents. I am thinking I'll make a shadow box with these, and probably some of those wooden crochet hooks. Not sure, though. Ideas?

Oma Ernst and the Buergermeister

2006-03-01T10:15:00.000-05:00

Well, I am back from the wilds of Koenigsbach-Stein in Germany. I missed pretty much all of the rest of the Olympics, knitting and otherwise, and yet I have a victory to report.

This trip was mostly to visit my husband's Grandmother, Margarethe Ernst, who turned 95 last wednesday. Our visit was a surprise for her, and when we walked into the kitchen in my in-law's house and said hello, she was totally shocked. I was a little afraid for her heart, to tell you the truth, but she managed just fine.

Then, the mayor came to visit.

He was a very nice man, and he and a lady from the newspaper got Oma to tell a little of her life story. This is always compelling, as she survived the fire bombing of Dresden in WWII. And, despite her 95 years, her mind is still clear. Her memory does occasionally have to be jogged, but not nearly as much as you might think.

The party was lovely. Many of Oma's relatives and old friends came, and she had a wonderful time. I, however, had to disappear upstairs a couple of times. The German style of having a party is to start at, oh, say, eleven o'clock in the morning. Nice, a brunch, you might think. Yes, but then everybody stays until about 4 pm, when you have coffee and cake. Not so bad, you might be saying, everybody loves cake. Ah, but then people stay until 7 pm when dinner is served. Okee dokey, I hear you thinking, this does go on a bit, doesn't it? So a party which, in the US might last a few hours, takes ALL FREAKING DAY. And that's a little too much German language speaking for me. Makes my brain hurt.

What about the victory? Never fear, for here it is!

One hat and scarf, knit for Oma Ernst in two days from one Big Ball of Schoeller Stahl. Big Ball is the name of the yarn, and they aren't kidding. It is about a foot across. 7 stitches to 4 inches, size 12mm needles. I didn't have a pattern, so I really winged it with the hat. I knew Oma's head was pretty small, so I planned on a 20 inch circ hat. I finished it once, held it up to the back of her head when she wasn't paying attention to check the size, and knew it was going to be too short. I checked the (scarily little) amount of yarn I had left, and calculated that I could add about 4 rows to the straight part of the hat, and ripped back. Oh, those last few rows were frightening, let me tell you. And yet, the magic Olympic Spirit was with me.

This was how much I had left.

Alles Gute zum 95th Geburtstag, Oma.

Happy V.D., Everybody!*

2006-02-14T10:17:00.000-05:00

Despite having the world's worst head cold and/or flu, and having to completely clean my house, do my laundry, and pack for a trip to Germany, I thought I would update my blog to talk about CHEEK. As in Joey Cheek. As in the cutest little gold medalist speed skater ever! And he's from North Carolina! Ok, I really only live in North Carolina, and am not really from here, but still the stately pride swells in my bosom. I about had heart palpitations last night watching the men's 500 meter race. I was chanting "Go Joey, go Joey, don't fall, don't fall," over and over. And the voodoo must have worked. Yaaaaay!! Oh, and he's giving his 25K bonus to a children's relief charity in Africa. Be still my heart.

Other than that, yes, going to Germany. Tomorrow. Ugh. Not the Germany part, the "going" part, which of course involves plane travel, which I already can't stand, and also plane travel with a one year old who can walk, which I think might have to involve some kind of muscle relaxant for Mama. Or maybe just a forced zen feeling. Repetitive chanting of "Calm, cool, collected," maybe. Perhaps some discreet incense burning. Ok, maybe not that last one. Hopefully, the boy will sleep, but of course since he's a lap child, if he sleeps it will have to be atop one of us, which is always fun in an already cramped airline seat. I guess I should be glad that we didn't have to pay for a ticket for him. And maybe the plane won't be too full.

Ok, now I've jinxed it. Better stop talking before I say something like "and we will leave on time, arrive early, have no lines through customs or immigration, and no one will be smoking in the Frankfurt airport."

Shoot, I just did. That smoking thing is, of course, a total fantasy, so perhaps that will negate the jinx. Can you jinx a jinx? Can you tell I've had too much cold medicine?

*my high school english teacher always said this. gotta love high school english teachers.

I didn't qualify....

2006-02-08T08:10:00.000-05:00

The Olympics start soon, and I wish I could be a part. No, not the Winter Olympics. The Knitting Olympics. This crazy brainchild of the Harlot is beginning with the opening ceremonies, and ending with the closing ceremonies (yes, of the other olympics). I, however, will be in Germany for the majority of this time, and I recently sprained my wrist so I shouldn't push it with the knitting, and I have a one year old child who takes entirely too much time away from insane pursuits like trying to knit a sweater in two weeks.

But man, oh man, I wish I could join the team.

I do have pictures, finally, of the earlier blogged Panta and Cabled Newsboy Cap (from S n' B Nation). First, the Panta, in the traditional "reflected in mirror" shot:

Next, the Cap, photographed by my hubby, modeled my me.

I should probably get a shot of the top of the hat, because the decreasing and the cables look verrrry nice. The Cap was an interesting adventure. My yarn gauge was slightly tighter, and I have a gigantic pumpkin head, so I had to mess with the pattern quite a bit. This resulted in MATH being done, which is always an iffy thing with me. I thought I had it down, thought I was a genius, until I got to the main part of the cap and realized I very much wasn't. I've thrown away my notes, or I could be more specific. Let's just say much cursing was involved. Oh, I almost forgot about the cast on! I managed to, for the first time ever, twist my stitches before joining in the round. I have never done this, because I always check. ALWAYS. Except for this time. So let's just say, after having already cast on, knit an inch of ribbing, realized what I was knitting resembled a transdimensional loop, frogged, re-cast on, knit another inch of ribbing, realized that the MATH had screwed me over, I was not willing to frog again. So I just placed a few strategic increases and voila! Cool hat.

Okay, not really a voila! moment. But definitely a cool hat.

Silent Poetry Reading

2006-02-02T13:50:00.000-05:00

Well, here, for better or worse, is my contribution to the Silent Online Poetry Reading, read about on Creating Text(iles), inspired by Grace's Poppies. This a poem I wrote a few years ago, that I have been editing like crazy the past half an hour. I was going to put up a Billy Collins poem, but I couldn't decide on a favorite. So, in spite of the danger of appearing incredibly narcissistic, here's something of my own. Nobody other than myself has ever read this, so we'll see how it goes down (I know my ma will have something to say.)

Could Just Be Crows

I sit here, so far from the ocean,
yet I'm sure I can hear the surf,
sure I can hear gulls,
calling madly to one another.

The only explanation must be
the earth, tilted on its axis,
spilling salt water into landlocked cities.

Or is it just the wind? And crows calling?

Doesn't matter, I can feel it anyway,
Feel the sand, gritty and giving
beneath wrinkled toes,
turning the bones in their matrix
so that by the end of the day,
feet ache with the surf.
I can see glass hiding in the shallows,
smooth and worn, surface cloudy
like an uncut gem, disguising its prior existence.

(A beer bottle perhaps? Or maybe a pair of glasses,
lost in the crashing waves, given up for lost
by the nearsighted fool who left them there
to be a gift for Neptune.)

Today, I am surrounded by
the endless noise of water
beating against sand, a sound that lingers
in some forgotten memory,
my mother's heartbeat perhaps,
lost inside to years of new experiences.

Or it could just be crows,
could just be the wind.

Sara Lukjanovs, 2004

Ms. Crafty Pants and the boy's B-day

2006-01-27T11:13:00.000-05:00

So the boy turned one last week, and we had a big ol' birthday bash for him. As previously reported, I spent way too much time on the fun decorating stuff, and probably not enough time on the, oh, cleaning and cooking part of it. Thank goodness the Ma was there to help out, especially with me and my broke-ass right arm.

And what does a little boy's first birthday need most of all?

That's right. Rum, tequila*, and twinkie sushi. The Big Bucket o' Margarita Mix was purchased mainly because it made me laugh at the grocery store. I mean, how can you pass up something that says "New! With Dispens-arita Spout!" on the label. I love that shit. Dispens-arita! Ole! And it wasn't half bad.

The twinkie sushi? Again, something that made me laugh. Of course if you follow the link above, you will also find the version with swedish fish and powdered donuts, which I am kind of glad I didn't see before the party, because I would have had to make those, too.

What else does a little boy's first birthday need?

Tentative cake eating, of course.

And here's my home-made birthday banner, which came out great. I absolutely love this font, Jokerman in Apple Works. Like my color scheme? I did wind up wearing a lime green t-shirt. As did my mother. Oh yeah, dork-o-rama.

Finally, back and front shots of the little monster himself. I made the t-shirt with iron on transfer. It has his name and a number 1 on the back, and a picture of a monster on the front (copied from the invitation by ME into the computer. Ah the magic of computer handdrawing) that says "It's my first birthday, GIVE ME CAKE!!" I know. You are ready to puke from the cuteness. You gotta admit, he looks like a little monster, especially in this shot.

All in all, a successful celebration.

(We're going to ignore the very sad "non-recording video camera during cake eating" incident.)

*edited to add: okay, the hubby wanted me to clarify that the margaritas were for the adults, not for the birthday boy. yes, he really did. I just made the assumption that you'd figure that out. But you know about assumptions. They make an "ass" out of "u" and "umption".**

**not mine. quote from "The Long Kiss Goodnight"

New Identity! (kind of....)

2006-01-24T14:03:00.000-05:00

I finally came up with a new name for my internet self! Now, you will probably think I'm crazy, but I have seriously been searching for a name for years. Nothing seemed appropriate, either too cutesie or too trendy, or not "me" enough. Turns out the answer is closer than I ever thought. I was playing around with my name, first and last and what it would be if I had taken a married name, and came up with "Saralude". I like it. Reminds me of both "Interlude" and "Sarabande", both somewhat musical terms. I think it sounds like a Debussy piano piece.

Of course, I am sure someone will write in and tell me it actually means "dungheap" in Mandarin, or reminds them of "ludefisk" or "quelude". At which point I shall go have a long cry in a corner.

(Still typing with the splint on, so this post will not be long. Have developed a kind of combined typing style, where the left hand does the correct typing thing, and the broke-ass right hand does a hunt-and-peck. Not terribly efficient.)

The Blues Continues...

2006-01-17T15:48:00.000-05:00

...with my poor arm. Yep, I screwed up my wrist good and proper. Not broken, but nearly. Last night I did one of those banana-peel pratfalls where your feet fly up higher than your head, before you land flat on your back. Or, in my case, my right arm. And now, after a three hour long visit to urgent care (ugh) I am not allowed to use my arm for a week. Lovely. This of course means no picking up of the boy, no diapering the boy, no dressing of the boy. And no knitting.

Yikes.

Broken Toe Blues

2006-01-13T11:03:00.000-05:00

Is it possible to break your toe by stubbing it on the coffee table? I think probably. I have been hobbling around for four days on a black and blue pinky toe. Stupid phone. Why do we have phones? I wonder how many accidents happen in the home because somebody's running for the phone.

I thought I should update my blog. Not that I have anything to say. I have been planning the boy's first birthday party, although "planning" is probably not quite the word. What I have mostly been doing is printing out cute invitations, making banners, and creating a first birthday t-shirt for the boy. NONE of this is actually necessary. But you know me. Ms. Crafty Pants. I also managed to clean up and organize the office. This has, annoyingly enough, not made the rest of the house clean and organized. I was hoping for a kind of domino effect, where the clean vibes emanating from the office would cause dust bunnies to implode and dirty laundry to become clean, folded, and put away, all without the touch of my hands. Somehow, it didn't happen.

Oh! and I bought party supplies. That's planning, right? I've got this lovely purple and lime green scheme, based on the monster invites, and I went a little crazy. Everything will be purple and lime green. I will probably even wear my lime green t-shirt or sweater (depending on the weather) just to cement my complete dorkitude.

In knitting news? I have been working, and working, and working on an accent pillow for my bedroom. The problem? It's this really pretty latvian braid technique that involves a lot of untwisting of hopelessly twisted-together yarns, and goes REALLY SLOWLY. R E A L L Y S L O O O O O W L Y. I had big plans when I started, "Oh, I'll make some pillows for the living room, and the boy's room, and some curtain edgings, and some dishtowels! The whole house will be filled with Latvian Braid!" Uh huh. Now, I will be lucky if this one accent pillow makes it to completion.

But hey, maybe the completion vibes will cause the rest of my knitting projects to knit themselves while I sleep.

My love affair with Emmett

2006-01-09T10:56:00.000-05:00

I don't know how to say this, so I guess I'll just come right out with it. I'm in love with an otter. Well, two otters, actually. And a porcupine. And some weasels, ferrets, badgers, foxes, bullfrogs, squirrels, and two rather frightening rabbits. I refer here, of course, to the amazing Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas, the Jim Henson extravaganza. We used to watch this little tv movie every year when I was a child, and I remembered the song "When the river meets the sea" until I became an adult, because I loved it so much. And guess what. The movie is just as sweet and endearing and full of fantastic music as I remembered it being. Watched it last night on dvd, and just about cried. Absolutely lovely.

And that's not even mentioning the amazing dvd extras, all of which were worth the price times 100. The making of doc is funny and full of interviews with everybody from puppet makers to songwriters (one, Paul Williams) to vocal talent. And the Outtakes! Oh my god! I have not laughed that hard in a long time. To watch Ma Otter say "Sweet Jesus!" and little Emmett ask for spare change to buy his Ma some Ripple, well, words cannot capture the sheer madness of it. I am in love with Frank Oz. And how much does it suck that Jim Henson died. The man was a genius of the highest order.

I definitely need to get every Jim Henson project on dvd. If they are even half as entertaining and informative as this one, they're worth it.

All right, I've said my piece. Go, go and watch Emmett Otter. You won't be sorry.

Picture Free is Good! Really!

2005-12-30T21:28:00.000-05:00

Well, Christmas has come and gone. I managed to finish, at about 1:30 in the morning on Christmas Day, the last of my stockings, and they were all hung by the chimney with care. They were, however, unusable, since I had only lined the boy's and didn't trust my slapdash "tie a knot in it if it moves" yarn end dealingwithitness. Sorry. Having a lot of trouble coming up with appropriate wordiage. You know. Like verbiage. Only wrong. Anyway, they were up for decoration, at least, and here's a pitcher fer ya.

(picture currently in picture limbo to come soon)

Aren't they stunning? I was pretty impressed with myself. Especially since I pretty much made the design concepts up as I went along. I used a couple of free charts I found on the web, as well as modifying them or making up new ones as I went. The blue ornament shapes on mine (Mama) were a scary disaster at first. I just modified the snow flake chart to make an ornament shape, and put in a bow in red to maintain the fair isley-ness. However, once knit, I realized they looked like blue pumpkins with little faces. Angry blue pumpkins with angry little faces. I had to rip back and rethink, but they worked out eventually.

The Papa stocking was my personal nemesis. It was the third one I did, the one where I thought I knew what I was doing while actually having no idea what I was doing. I kept making really stupid counting mistakes and then not catching them until I was ten rows further on, necessitating much frogging and cursing. Very much cursing. You have to remember, this was happening on December 21st, and I still had two more to knit. And a house to clean before my family got here.

But let us not dwell on the past. Let us rather focus on the future, which I hope will be filled with many more of these:

(again, picture limboity)

A Panta, pattern written out here. My new favorite headcovering. Takes about five minutes (in knitting time, which is admittedly not the same as regular clock time), looks cool, and functions as intended. The perfect handknit.

Okay, okay, the previous was written before I had finished my cabled Newsboy hat, from the wonderful Stitch 'n' Bitch Nation. IT is now by favorite headcovering. In fact, I don't even know where Panta has gotten too. Both were knit in leftover Caron Simply Soft, which I have six tons of, and which will be knitted into anything and everything, just to lighten my currently acrylic-heavy stash. But the Newsboy? Oh my gosh. Love it. I love a hat that works with my short hair to make me look like a cross between a flapper, a 1920s tennis player, and a jockey. I'm serious. Pic will come, as soon as I can figure out how to upload more photos to my currently stuffed full hard drive.

Sweeeeeeeet....

2005-12-16T11:55:00.000-05:00

My good friend Xan, unwrapping

what has turned out to be

her favorite present of all time, and, as she says (quote), "This is not faint praise, as I was once given a talking yoda."

So, one Doctor Who Scarf, completed. I really wanted to get a shot of all 10,000 feet of it as I was knitting the last couple of inches, but never did manage to. I did get it done by my deadline, by the way. In fact, I beat the deadline by two days, which must be a new record for me. All I can say is, if you are a friend or family member and you would like me to knit you a Doctor Who Scarf, you can FORGET IT. Never again. Unh-unh. No way in hell.

All right. Maybe. If you are really really nice to me. And pay for the tendonitis treatment.

Okay, so, I'm an idiot...

2005-12-09T22:08:00.000-05:00

Hi! Long time no see! I was on a rather extended vacation to my mom's house in Ohio, and never made time to blog. And now? Now that I am home and have a million things to tell you about and a million pictures to show? I left my camera's download cable AT MY MOM'S HOUSE. Yes. Applaud my stupidity, please.

So, this shall be a picture-free entry, which would be fine, if I hadn't finished some really cute projects. For example, the Dr. Who scarf was delivered to its intended recipient. I finished the first of the Christmas stockings. I made my mom a non-knitted gift by the seat of my crafty pants. Crafty pants. I like that. I think I shall make a new blog, and it shall be titled "By the Seat of my Crafty Pants". Very nice. Probably someone else has it already. Crafty pants. Don't ask me why, but the more I repeat those two words, the funnier they get. You have to overemphasize the first syllable of "crafty" and de-emphasize "pants" (CRAFT-ypants) to get the same effect as my completely random brain. Crafty pants, crafty pants, crafty pants. Say it with me. I know you are.

I just cast on for the second of the stockings, and decided to do it in the round rather than flat as the pattern calls for. Now I am regretting it. Is it just me, or is it horribly difficult to knit on dps when you hold the yarn in your left hand, continental style? Is there some trick I'm not getting? A little explanation: I used to knit with a sort of cheater style where I gripped the yarn in my right hand with little emphasis on maintaining tension, counting on the size of the needle to do that for me, resulting in a pretty tight gauge. I decided, a few months ago, to move to a continental style, which sped up my knitting considerable (especially in ribbing, or anything involving alternating k and p). But I only ever knit on dps with the old style, and I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how to do it without cursing the double point gods everytime I get to the beginning or end of a needle. The yarn catches on the next needle, or wraps itself around it, or the needles do a kind of sliding shuffle and the yarn is nowhere to be seen. Very, very frustrating. Pointers, anyone? Or do I give up and go back to the ol' grip 'n flip?

Sorry, horribly technical paragraph, that.

Anyway, hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season. Or, at least, that you aren't sitting panting on the couch, paralyzed by fear, while the million things you have to do/buy/cook/knit dance through your brain like those damn sugarplums. Stupid, stupid sugarplums.

P. S. Just got back from dinner at a new I-talian chain restaurant where I had it confirmed, from several independent sources, that we do indeed have the cutest little boy in the entire universe. I knew it.

Not Necessarily a Post....

2005-11-08T10:35:00.000-05:00

Just some notes on the past week:

Took the boy to the park this weekend, and let him hold the dog's leash. What I thought would be a funny sidebar kind of moment turned into a "complete astonishment over how long he could hold onto our pulling dog" walk around the two mile pond. He held the leash for probably a third of the way, and never complained. Now I know who would beat who in a "boy vs. dog" brawl.

I did not know what I was getting into when I started that damn Dr Who Scarf, but I am getting into the swing. It will probably shock my mom to learn that my self set deadline is Thanksgiving Day, and that I have set myself a "distance knit per day" quota that I have so far managed to meet. I think I need deadlines. The scarf is already twice as long as it was just one week ago.

Uhh, I think if you use bullet points, you need to use more than two, so this is the third one. Hmmmm. How about a haiku? A-heh-heh-hem, "Boy needs a kleenex/the dripping goo is running/from his little nose."

And on that disgusting note, I leave you.

H-A-double L-O-W-double E-N

2005-11-01T10:26:00.000-05:00

Ah, Halloween. Here are me and the boy on our porch. No, that isn't a giant flaring torch on the wall next to me, just a porchlight covered with a sack to tone down the glare a little. Made it look appropriately spooky on our porch for the trick-or-treaters. And yes, the boy is dressed as a bumblebee. Complete with stinger on the butt. I actually wheeled him around last night and knocked on doors. I was collecting for UNICEF instead of trick-or-treating, since the boy is too young for candy, but I thought it was pretty funny how many people went right for the candy bowl. I had to repeat, as fast as possible I might add, the following speech about twenty times: "Hi Trick or treat he's actually too young for candy so we're collecting for UNICEF instead do you have any spare change?"

I remember always wondering, as a child, just what kind of an idiot would ever want to collect money for UNICEF rather than get a bunch of free candy. Now I know exactly what kind of idiot. Man, it took all my courage to do this, I'll tell ya. I'm not even really sure why I did it. I mean, I could've just written a check myself and gotten it over with. But no. Had to put my adorable boy in a bee outfit and parade him at the neighbors. Ah, now I get it. And it worked, too. Everybody exclaimed over how cute he was.

Oh, and to get myself into the Halloween spirit, I made these:

They are rice krispy treats that I tinted orange, cut into pumpkin shapes and decorated with jack-o-lantern faces! How incredibly Martha Stewart! Well, actually, the faces look a little demented, since I made the icing color myself by mixing the four colors of decorating icing I had together and scraping it into a plastic bag to use as a pastry bag. It worked, but it was none too precise. And the orange was just red and yellow icing mixed in with the marshmallow. The icing was the only foodstuff I had in different colors, and it was in those little mini tubes you get for decorating, so I had to nearly spasm to squeeze enough out. That's why they aren't terribly orange. You try sqeezing those mini tubes of icing and see how much you get out before you pass out from the pain. Oh, and you wouldn't believe how much sweeter these get when you mix in maybe a tablespoon of decorating icing.

Anyway, that was our Halloween. I can't wait 'til next year. Then we can write a check to UNICEF, and go door to door for the CANDY, like any red blooded American oughtta.

Doctor Who? What Scarf?

2005-10-26T13:29:00.000-05:00

Garter Ridges completed: 159

Garter Ridges needed in total: 520

Garter Ridges to go: 361

31 percent completed

Actual number of stitches: Multiply every ridge by 100. Yes, seriously. This scarf will have, at completion, 52000 stitches. Shoot me now.

Done, done, done

2005-10-22T15:46:00.000-05:00

Here is the Elephant sweater, in all its glory. Details: I used the custom top down raglan outline, added in some ribbing and a henley neckline, finished off with some adorable elephant buttons, and now the boy has a pretty keen sweater which he will probably only be able to wear for two weeks out of the whole winter. I hate North Carolina.

I really enjoyed making this sweater, despite my complete newbieness about buttonholes (which led to some finishing angst, which was only relieved by some much needed reassurance from the hubby) and my complete HATRED of the double points I used for the ribbing on the sleeves. Most of the knitting of the sleeves I did with bamboo needles, but I wanted to use smaller needles for the ribbed cuffs. Unfortunately, I only had dps of the appropriate size in some kind of HEAVY METAL that clanked and clinked and almost woke up my sleeping boy. I don't have any clue what kind of needles they are, since I bought them at a garage sale. But, man, I don't plan on using them EVER AGAIN. Well, maybe if I need to sink something to the bottom of a lake. Not that I ever need to sink anything to the bottom of a lake. I'm just saying, IF I ever needed to sink something to the bottom of a lake, these needles would be the sinkers of choice. That's all.

I'm not sweating, officer. That's, uh, condensation. 'Cause I'm so cool. Yeah.

A little yarn miracle....

2005-10-21T19:14:00.000-05:00

So I walked into Great Yarns in Raleigh for the first time. I pushed my boy in his stroller around the (admittedly rather cramped) store, fingering all the yarns with wistful pleasure, occasionally removing them from the boy's too quick hands. I looked, halfheartedly, for Classic Elite Beatrice in the color Bea's Blue. I made it through the store without falling in lust with any one yarn, but with about fifteen. I asked of the woman at the front, regretfully, without hope, "You don't, by any chance, have Classic Elite Beatrice?"

"In the back, near the floor. Here, let me show you."

I followed her, my heart in my throat. "If you have a ball in the color I need, I'll kiss your feet," I said.

"Oh, you don't have to kiss my feet!" she said, with a slightly alarmed chuckle.

And folks, I must be doing something right, because there it was. One lonely ball of Beatrice in Bea's Blue. I might have done a happy dance. In fact, I'm pretty sure I did a happy dance.

But there was no kissing of feet. Thankfully. For all involved.

Not a river in Africa....

2005-10-18T09:49:00.000-05:00

Well, if you haven't weighed in on the button issue below, please do so. Of course, I have finished the sweater part of the sweater, but now I am in a bit of trouble. Last night, as I was finishing up the second sleeve, I kept holding up the ever dwindling yarn ball in horror. I made it to the end of the sleeve, but I only have a couple yards of yarn left, and haven't done the neckline. I have a different yarn with the same gauge, but it is cotton instead of wool. Can I use it? Will it make the neckline all saggy baggy? Will it look stupid? Should I just try to find an additional ball of wool yarn somewhere? Should I hop in a time machine and bonk my past self on the back of the head when I start thinking "I'm sure five is enough" at the yarn store?

I am using Classic Elite Beatrice for the sweater, in the color Bea's Blue. It's a bulky merino, really soft, knits like a dream. The other yarn I have is Classic Elite Isabella, same thing but cotton/acrylic. I knit a neckline already, but I'm not sure about it, color-wise and something-indefineable-wise. Ya know? Like, it looks okay but I'm not sure it looks okay enough to leave it.

Of course, a third option would be to unravel a little from each arm and the bottom, but I really don't want to do that, seeing as how I made it pretty large, hoping to get two seasons of wear out of it. Then again, at the rate the boy is growing, two seasons of wear is optimistic.

Option four is to toss the whole thing into a bag, shove it into the closet, and never speak of it again. Guess which option I'm leaning towards.

I'm Awake, I'm Awake.....

2005-10-16T08:57:00.000-05:00

The boy has decided that I have had enough sleep this morning. So here I am. Just thought of something funny. Actually watched Sesame Street the other day for the first time since I was a child, and really enjoyed it. In fact, I laughed out loud at some of it. Especially Maurice, who refers to himself as "the Fourth little pig". He is, you guessed it, a pig. He is helping the candidates for the Big Bad Wolf substitute (the big bad wolf is going on vacation) get ready by running after him, and when he stops to catch his breathe, says, "Oh, I'm sweatin' like a . . . thing . . . that sweats . . . a great deal." I laughed my ass off. Not sure why. I think it was the word choice "a great deal". You just know whoever wrote this was laughing, too.

Oh, and since when did Sesame Street become the fracking Elmo show? I mean, I understand Jim Henson died, and they probably wanted a new main character, but Elmo? He refers to himself in the third person, like a pro boxer. Is this really the role model I want my child to follow? At least Bert and Ernie are still there, and Oscar the Grouch, and Big Bird, but the fixation on Elmo was making me nuts.

I vote for making Maurice the new main character.

Button, Button, Button

2005-10-13T10:23:00.000-05:00

I've almost got the hang of updating my blog more often than once a month. The problem is, I think of something to blog, and then sit down to blog it, and the power is out. Or Blogger is on the fritz. Or the boy is screaming. Thus my carefully constructed (read: just thought of something funny) blog entry disappears from my head. Ah, such is life.

Well, I'm at it again. Making the boy another knitted object. You'd think I'd occasionally like to make myself something, but I guess not. I think it's 'cause stuff for babies goes so quickly. Three hours for a hat, a few days for a sweater. I am definitely not a "process" knitter. Oh, no. I don't care how wonderfully meditative knitting can be. I want stuff at the end of that process. Cute stuff. Stuff for somebody to wear. Oh, and none of that "hang it on the wall" quiltmaking mentality. If I am going to make a quilt (or anything else) it had better be useful by the end. That's why it makes me crazy knowing the absolutely awesome scarf I made for my brother a couple years ago is lying in a heap somewhere, never used, because he isn't a "scarf" kind of guy. What, he never gets cold? Oh, and now he is out working in the big hotel in Yosemite, and when winter rolls around, I'm sure (okay, not sure, but I'm hopeful) he'll be thinking to himself "Gee, wouldn't it be great if I had that scarf my sister made for me right now."

A girl can dream.

Anyway, back to the boy's sweater. It's going to have a kind of henley-style neckline with a couple of buttons, on account of his gigungous head, and I would love to get some opinions on my button options. So, should it be the

gold bumble bee, the

faux stone, or the

silver elephant? Comments very much appreciated.

p.s. I am a doofus. I just remembered I made myself a scarf the other day. I guess I'm not as pathetic as I thought.

Housekeeping....

2005-10-04T16:11:00.000-05:00

Hey folks. Boring entry, but if you attempted to subscribe with bloglines to my page before, I don't know if it worked, since I used the wrong feed. The feed is now fixed, so you can resubscribe. I think. If I understood correctly. And it is entirely possible I did not. So take this entire post with saltshaker. Comforting, no?

Whatever Happened to Baby Jayne?

2005-10-01T10:59:00.000-05:00

In honor of the opening of Serenity, the Firefly movie, I made the boy a Jayne hat. Not that Jayne is a rolemodel I hope he emulates. But he looks durn cute in the hat.

It took me maybe three hours. No pattern, just winging it. Very liberating. And it fits! I guess I oughtta make some matching mittens and scarf, just for coordination's sake.

Updated: We just came back from seeing Serenity. Oh my god. If you think you might like, or even just sort of like, science fiction, go see this movie. It is truly astoundingly good. Hell, even if you don't like science fiction, you might like it. Joss is definitely boss. The dialogue is clever and funny, the pacing is tight as a drum, the story is fascinating, and the acting is superb. There was not one second I felt needed to be cut, which is a miracle in today's movies. I also think he did a great job in making a movie that will appeal to not just the fans. Of course, being a fan, I can't really say that objectively, so will someone who is not a fan but saw this movie please comment? I think what made it so great was that it seemed to be made for love, not money. No fan pandering, no shielding characters in case another movie deal comes through. All or nothing, just like the Captain.

In a word? Shiny.

And here's the blankie in all its finished glory, avec border, plus a close up of the final square.

I'm baa-aaack....

2005-09-27T08:31:00.000-05:00

...from the vacation that never ended. I need a vacation from my vacation. But I successfully managed to survive and bring along a husband and seven-to-eight month old baby through a complicated travel plan involving a car trip to Atlanta, a plane ride to Germany, another car trip to the south of France, a plane ride back from Germany to Ohio, and a final car trip from Ohio back to North Carolina. I'm exhausted just writing that down. We went to Dragoncon in Atlanta, to Oma and Opa's house, to Heidelberg, to Munich, to a visit with triplet nieces in Bad Wildungen, to a rental house in the Provence, and a final night with Granny D. And now we are home. Thank the Gods.

Did I finish the psycho baby blankie? A pictorial answer:

Admittedly, this is sans border. A border has been added since, in white reverse stockinette. Will add picture later, when I'm not sick of dealing with all the photographic detritus of our "vacation".

And here's the shot that embarrassed my hubbo. That's the bridge in Avignon, baby! (France, if you didn't know.)

And one final one for the blankie lovers:

Almost there....*

2005-08-29T13:04:00.000-05:00

Well, here's the penultimate square. The colors aren't quite right, and I flipped the two left squares wrong way round, but I refuse to take a fifth picture of this stupid thing.

The final square is currently being sewn together, and though it doesn't look entirely the way I would like it too, it is still pretty cool. I am going to try and bust my ass to get the thing finished before we leave for Germany next Monday, but I think that may be pushing it. I would love to take it with us as the "play time" blankie, although with the boy mobile now, it may be futile. He's everywhere!

Other than that, nothing to report, although I have been glued to the Weather Channel. North Carolina isn't even expected to get much rain from good ol' Katrina, but I am a fabulous weather hypochondriac. Sample freak out: "Are you sure this isn't tornado weather? 'Cause that looks like a funnel cloud to me. Just rain? Are you sure? Was that lightning hitting our house? It wasn't? Then what was it? Somebody closing their car door next door? I see. Maybe they're leaving town because there's been an evacuation order and we didn't hear because we were watching the weather channel and it isn't local! They would broadcast it on all stations? Oh, okay. Are you sure?"

* whenever I read these two words, they always sound like a quote from what movie? twenty points for a correct answer.

Effluvia....

2005-08-23T14:39:00.000-05:00

Hey there, One Blue Tree fans! I'm back! Sorry about the long absence. Went on an extended vacation to my ma's house, and didn't get a chance to blog. That doesn't mean I don't love you. All one of you. Seriously, does anyone read this but my husband? And my mother?

I have been cleaning up entirely too many bodily fluids recently. The boy has diarrhea, so every diaper is an adventure, and the dog decided to puke on the sofa today, so I am entirely fed up with the fact that our bodies have to produce liquid waste. Couldn't we just extrude hard pellets? Or maybe encapsulate our effluvia in egg-like capsules? What's with the hard to clean up semi-solid goo?

Okay, whatever readers I may have had are now entirely disgusted and leaving to find better, cleaner pastures. But wait! I have yet to update you on knitting news! Yes, there is knitting news. No, I have not finished the psycho baby blankie. But I did finish this!

One Buttonhole Bag, pattern courtesy of Mason Dixon Knitting. Knit in Burly Spun and Lamb's Pride Bulky, felted in my front loader, and totally satisfying. I need to make about twenty more.

Oh, and I bought the yarn here...

If you are ever within a couple hours drive (or plane ride. it's that good.) of Franklin Ohio, you have to go here. Yarn and Needle, on the river. Gorgeous inside and out. And with handy husband holding coffee shop! I wanted to live here. I live most of my knitting adventures through online purchases, so to actually be in a store with yarns I had previously seen only in dubiously colored photos on webpages was a thrill. Noro! Debbie Bliss! Berrocco! Everything Brown Sheep has to offer! I thought I'd died and gone to yarn heaven. And my hubbie had a good cup of coffee and time alone with his laptop, which is all he needs to be happy.

Oh, and that is the boy and his grandma in the photo, as well. I actually tried to teach my ma how to knit, which is an amusing exercise to say the least. This, the woman who has taken two different quilting classes and said about them, and I quote, "I might as well just throw all this fabric right in the trash." The woman who had a grubby, half-done cross stitch project, intended as part of a group effort, gently removed from her hands by concerned, well meaning friends who just wanted the damn thing done within the next decade. This woman. She asked me to teach her to knit so she could make a Buttonhole Bag, too.

And she's almost got it. Almost. She keeps taking the yarn the wrong way round the needle (blamed on her earlier crocheting, which makes sense) but other than that, no problem. I don't think she'll be knitting any sweaters any time soon, but the bag might just get finished.

Or I might be handed a grubby, gnarly, dropped stitch mess with a sigh of "I might as well have just thrown the yarn right in the trash." After which I will knit her the Buttonhole Bag myself. And she'll love it.

........

2005-08-04T12:48:00.000-05:00

Can't think of a title. Hey! I finished the next square for the psycho squares blankie! It is currently awaiting sashing and mini block before pictures can be taken, so don't yell at me. I started the sixth and hopefully final block, which is basically going to be me winging it as I go along, since I don't really have much of a plan for it, other than keeping it the same color "flavor" as the other two white+dark blue blocks. I'm hoping it will look as cool as it does in my head. If it doesn't, too bad you can't see inside my head, 'cause it's AWESOME. Your loss.

Advertisers have sunk to new lows. I know, you didn't think that was possible. But lookee here:

That is a bunch of bananas. The sticker is not the Dole sticker, or Del Monte, or Chiquita. It is an ad for those ridiculous already prepared peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with no crusts. So, now, if a kid decides to put the sticker from the bananas on his or her forehead, bam, instant billboard. Have they no shame? The advertisers, not the children. Children definitely have no shame. It's what makes them so fun. At least the stickers used to be ads for fruit companies. But already prepared peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with no crusts? Come on. I mean, can you even say that without laughing? Try it. "Already prepared peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with no crusts." The ultimate in lazy slacker dinners has gone even slacker-ier. Or something.

Also, I spotted no less than three very obvious product placements in the third Austin Powers movie the other day. Two in the same scene. Someone walks into a room, sets down a bag of *named fast food* and a cup of *named soda brand*. Crazy.

All right, I will quit ranting about stupid crap. Now do you see why this post has no title?

Short update....

2005-08-02T09:31:00.000-05:00

Here is the newest completed square relaxing with a hot beverage and "Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?" I know, I know. You'd think such a sophisticated knitted objected would have a reading ability greater than preschool level. Believe me, I've tried to get him to branch out a little. But it was this or last summer's Knitty. Don't look at me like that! He only reads it for the articles.

Wow. I mean, Wow. Seriously. Wow.

2005-07-25T09:14:00.000-05:00

I made it to the Mason Dixon Knitting sidebar. Oh my gosh. I need to go sit down for a moment. So, if you just surfed on over from there, hello! Glad you could visit! The knitting you are looking for is in the July 21st entry. I would love to elaborate on my progress, but I'm still sewing up the next square. I've been "sewing up the next square" for several days now. I keep hoping, what with all the fiddly little seams you have to sew, that I will start to love seaming. So far? Hasn't happened. Still a pain in the ass. I do, however, love picking up and knitting on the sashing. And the little squares in the corners? Absolute heaven. So I just have to grit my teeth and get to the good stuff.

Um. Hi! Still kind of feeling like a deer in the headlights from the sidebar mention. I keep hearing "We're in the Money" sung by Daffy Duck replaying over and over in my head. Oh, and "Hollywood!" Okay, yes, there may have been too many Looney Tunes in my past. Whatever gets you through, right?

On to other news. The boy has successfully been moved into his own room! Yes, the little man slept in his nursery two nights in a row. Finally! I am very glad to have my room back after six months. I am already deep in the planning stages of a redecoration project. Not that we need it. I mean, come on, everybody keeps their clothes in and on a dresser where most of the clean laundry ends up sitting in clothes baskets in front because the drawers are too difficult to open and shut. Right? Right?

Of course, due to my complete inability to pick a design aesthetic and/or color palette, the redecoration has stalled momentarily. It's not that I don't know what I like. It's that I can't find what I like in any store. Am I the only person who finds this recent trend to a kind of Neo-Baroque style incredibly ugly? What's with the brocade draperies? And the tassels? And the ball fringe? Although, I admit it, I went to B, B, and B yesterday and found a number of things I almost liked well enough to buy. Which is a first for me. So maybe the tide is turning.

God, I hope so.

Okay, so, I lied....

2005-07-21T12:46:00.000-05:00

I keep meaning to blog. Really! And then life intrudes, and I have to, uh, do laundry. Or play with the boy. Or watch every episode of Making Fiends.

But I'm here now. Doesn't that count?!

Anyway. I still hate the North Carolina weather. Why do I live here? I would much rather have it be cold than hot, and yet here I am. Sweltering. I don't even go outside if I can help it. And bugs, could you possibly not attack me every time I leave the house? What is with you? Do I go buzzing in your face every time you want to check the mail? Do I attack your ankles as though I am starved for fresh blood? Do I? DO I?

Ya know, the phrase "Do I" looks really weird now that I've typed it twice. What kind of weird ass word is "I" anyway. It isn't a word, it's a letter. It should at least be "Aye", or "Ai".

Maybe I will just get back to the blog. Digression. You gotta love it.

I am forging, slowly, ahead on the psycho baby blankie. Three squares done, three more to go, unless I decide to make it bigger, in which case I will have to make an additional three. Or perhaps an additional six. AAAGH. Can you tell I am winging this as I go along? The knit blogger I am lovingly copying (read: swiping) this design from is done with hers, and it looks great. Hope mine looks as good. (Who am I kidding. I want mine to be a bazillion times better than hers. Not that it will be.) Here's a progress pic:

Anyway, gots to go. Check out the kid's blog for new stuff soon! (Just turned six months, so baby stats are new!)

More frogs, more giant insects....

2005-07-12T16:18:00.000-05:00

Imagine, if you will, a lady. She is sitting on the sofa in her living room. Perhaps she is knitting. Perhaps she is feeding a child. Perhaps she is watching television. Now, follow her gaze to the window. There! Do you see it?

Yes. That is a frog. Suction-cupped to the outside of my living room window. I guess that's no weirder than having them fall through the chimney and hop all over the living room leaving little soot tracks.

Oh, and here's one of the beauties that loves to buzz around our cars on sunny days, perching on the plant bracket holder thingy as though poised for take off.

And yes, "Plant bracket holder thingy" is a technical term. Shut up.

'Twas the book made me do it....

2005-07-11T13:31:00.000-05:00

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last blog. I do not take responsibility for this, however. I blame my birthday.

You see, the people I love best gave me books for my birthday. Which I have been reading every spare moment when I haven't been taking care of the baby. They are now all finished, and aside from the requisite "end of book depression" I am okay now.

What did I read, I hear you asking. Reviews as follows:

The Hallowed Hunt, by Lois McMaster Bujold. Although not as good as her previous books set in this universe, still a fast and enjoyable read. I thought it took too long to get to the meat of the actual plot, which wasn't really clear until halfway through the book. Before that, it was mainly character positioning. That said, the characters were as wonderfully fleshed out as usual. If you've never ready anything my LMB, don't start here. But if you enjoy anything she does, you'll enjoy this one.

Finding Serenity, by Various. For fans of the sadly defunct tv series "Firefly". This is a collection of essays about various aspects of the show, including feminism, existentialism, the mental vacuity of Fox network executives, and the cogent-or-not use of Chinese. Really fascinating. If you are a fan, read this book. If you aren't a fan, or have never heard of this show, go immediately to your library or video store and watch it. You won't regret it. (Warning: science fiction/western content. if you have a knee-jerk negative reaction to either one of these, don't bother. if you are an open minded individual who enjoys good writing, have a great ride.)

The Language Instinct, by Steven Pinker. Amazing book. Forget everything you ever thought you knew about language. Oh, and forget all of those little "facts" you've been told. (Eskimos having 200 words for snow? Complete bunk.) Some of the things you will learn:

American English is more similar to British English from around the time of the Revolutionary War, despite the Brits complaining about our "bad english". Makes sense, doesn't it?

There is very good evidence to support a "Universal Grammar", a genetic "rulebook" on how to construct sentences. That is why it is so easy for small children to learn however many languages. It isn't just rote memorization. But the book slams shut after childhood, so if you haven't learned it by then, it will be a long hard slog.

The average high school graduate knows 45,000 words. And that's a low estimate. It's probably more like 60,000. And for people who read more, 90,000. Therefore, high school graduates must have been learning an average of ten words a day since their first birthday, or a new word every 90 waking minutes.

I have completely oversimplified all of these facts, but believe me, he doesn't. The writing is clear and concise, and entertaining as well, with tons of examples from everything from scientific studies to internet funnies.

So go read a book! And I promise to keep up with the blog from now on....

Birthdays, Bees, and other B words....

2005-06-27T11:22:00.000-05:00

Well, I survived my 29th birthday. Just barely. The day before, Saturday, the hubby, baby, dog and I found ourselves beset by bees. Okay, not bees, yellow jackets. Horrible, mean, and ugly yellow jackets. How can something that small be so relentlessly evil? I mean, come on, what's their beef? We were on a walk at the SAS campus, which is lovely and wooded, with paved trails. We are ambling along, enjoying the day, when I see the dog go down, attacking her own butt. "Something's wrong," says I, "Something's got the dog."

"Something's got me!" says the hubby.

That was all I needed to hear. I grabbed the stroller and tore ass up the path. I stopped a few hundred feet away, but it wasn't far enough. One had attached itself to my leg, and as I panicked and dithered, Hubby came zooming towards me.

"I need some help, here!" I yelled. But I yelled at his disappearing back. He had on one shoe, and was tearing his shirt off over his head. I managed to kill the one on my leg, and took off again, hoping against hope that the baby would be spared.

We all wind up in an eerily empty parking lot, trying to shoe off the remaining bees without increasing the casualty total, and feeling like we are in a horror movie. Long story, well, shorter, Hubby stung three times, dog stung once, baby and I remarkably unscathed. In fact, baby thought it quite funny and entertaining, what with all the screaming, batting, and running. Little monster.

So, that covers the bees. On to scarier things. I turned 29 yesterday. 29. As in, one year shorter than three decades. Decades, people. Yikes. I celebrated by going to the Cheesecake Factory and stuffing myself. Crabcakes, artichokes, peanut butter cheesecake, and wine. It didn't help. I am still 29. Even bought an entirely too expensive dress. Well, okay, the dress helped a little. It's nice to know I can still make the hubby buy me expensive dresses by modeling them for him and making his eyes bug out. Ha.

Now, I can hear you. You are saying, "But Sara, what about the other B words?"

All right, you caught me. There aren't any. Bye!

Spam, smap, samp, amps, maps....

2005-06-25T13:24:00.000-05:00

Ah, the wonders of that magical faux meat. Or rather, the junk in my now almost entirely unusable old email address. I kind of enjoy reading the subject lines, though. They make me laugh. Like, "Happy Father's Day, Sara" or "Have you been ignoring me?".

I had a progressively bitter woman named Linda Strickland spamming me for a while. She began like an old Tracy-Hepburn movie, with "Sara, Linda Strickland here..." She realized her mistake from my radio silence, and continued in High School essay form with, "Why should I do this? from Linda Strickland." At my lack of response she continued with "Sara, Here is the information you requested." Linda, I did no such thing. Finally, she got a little too personal, writing, "Are you internet challenged?" Actually, no, bitch.

But my all time favorite has got to be the following offer I found this morning (please imagine the word sic covering this entire letter):

"Our bank in Cary reviewefd your data and we are acceptineg your motrgage applicatvion. You have bad credibt? No problem at all!
You can get $300,000 with 3.6 %. Please activxate your approvral here
(website deleted)

Thank you.

Best Regards,
Gregorio Pittman
General Manager"

Wow. That really inspires trust, don't you think?

p.s. I kind of like "smap." I think I will refer to it as smap from now on.

Musings....

2005-06-24T10:21:00.000-05:00

Just a few random observations, since I am not feeling very inspired today:

....Saw the AFI tribute to George Lucas on Monday. Entertaining, but what struck me most was the brief glimpse I had of Peter Jackson. Whoa! Who was that handsome, slender man? He looked ten years younger, and about half his former weight.

....Finished the second psycho square for my psycho square blankie. Will post a photo when the sashing is finished. It's moving along relatively rapidly. For me. I always get really enthused about a project and knit like crazy for three days, then fall out of favor with it. However, this project is so interesting, I'm hoping I will manage to finish it by fall. Don't know how the Dr. Who scarf is going to compete, though.

....Oh yeah, am making Dr. Who scarf for the Anti-Xan. Have about a foot and a half finished. That just leaves another 10,000,000,000 feet to go.

....The Boy loves C-3PO. I bought a giant Pez that talks and plays the Star Wars theme, and the Boy is fascinated by his shiny golden head and glowing eyes. I'm so glad that Star Wars is genetic....

....Why is the organic milk at Kroger $5.69 a gallon, and only $3.49 at Whole Foods? WTF? I could %$#&@ walk to Kroger! ARRGH.

All right, enough. Enjoy your weekend, folkies.

The plagues continue....

2005-06-23T10:02:00.000-05:00

Now, for those of you who don't know, our house is constantly being beset by plagues of insects. In the last year, we have had cockroaches, woodroaches, camel crickets, giant ants, fleas, and frogs. Okay, I admit that frogs are not insects, but bear with me. Last night the latest in a long line of home invaders began its slow, slimy charge in the kitchen. Yes, slime. Slugs have been oozing their way between the door and the jam to enter my kitchen and gorge on dog food. Yes, dog food. I had no idea that slugs eat dog food. Three different times I had to evict slugs from my kitchen. One had almost made it to the dog's bed.

Hmm. Do you think maybe I have slugs that think they are dogs? Maybe the first one to taste of the glorious dogfood caused a strange mutation that has affected the entire community of slugs living by my kitchen door. Maybe soon I will hear faint barking and whining in the night, and then they will start to leave little slug-dog turds all over my front step. Maybe I could attach tiny threadlike leashes and lead them, slowly, around the block. Maybe they will be so happy when I return from an errand that they will jump, slowly, up on my legs and bark, demanding to be patted on their shiny slug heads.

Ewwwww. Please feel free to join me in a shudder of disgust.

AFI's hundred movie quotes....

2005-06-22T09:40:00.000-05:00

...was on last night. Good, but damn, do they have to stretch it to three hours? I swear I felt like I was watching more commercials than anything. I probably was. Of course, during the commercials I played with the kid, so all was not lost. Also, I suspect that the hundred quotes were voted on by mostly men, because, me? Not so much with the Godfather. Two of the top three quotes were Marlon Brando, one from Godfather, one from On the Waterfront. I thought that at least one of the six bajillion Casablanca quotes should have been in the top three. And why is Casablanca not AFI's top movie of the century? I mean, I liked Citizen Kane and all, but if I had the option of rewatching Citizen Kane or Casablanca, Casablanca would win hands down. But I am definitely a slut for dialogue.

In other news, finished the first square of my "going to rip off the baby blanket on Mason Dixon Knitting" baby blankie. If you don't know it, she made this really cool blankie out of mitered squares that kind of slowly devolve. Doesn't make sense, does it. I will try to include a link, but it might be a touch outside of my current blogging knowhow. I also will somehow include a picture of psycho square number one. At least I hope so.

Newsflash! I was emailed by a knitting blog celeb! I don't comment much on the blogs I read (even though I read them every day and love them more than words can say) since I just don't see how my agreeing with the other six bajillion people that commented before me will actually be interesting. But I did leave a comment with the Harlot the other day, just a little short one about how I wished I could go to the Alexandria book signing but couldn't because of motherly duties, and she wrote me back! I can't believe it! How cool is that! Okay, she would probably laugh at me for being so durn excited, but I can't help it! The Yarn Harlot! Wrote me back! An email! From the Yarn Harlot!

Stop me before I blog again....

The first photo blog....

2005-06-18T09:50:00.000-05:00

DSCF0640
Originally uploaded by scifimama.

Well, I am still working out the kinks of this blogging thing. Meanwhile, here is a photo of a Luna moth I found next to my back door. Probably six inches across, this guy. Beautiful, no?

The Second Post....

2005-06-17T09:44:00.000-05:00

Why is this so hard to manage? Why, oh why? I can't see the appropriate buttons when I go to Blogger in Explorer, and Camino doesn't let me add any text. Why? Why does this happen to me?

In bigger and better news, I finished the first square of my psycho squares blankie. Well, almost. I finished the psycho part, just haven't finished the sashing. And now it is wet and blocking, so I guess I won't finish it until much later.

In other news, the little one decided to be wide awake this morning after his feeding, so I haven't had enough sleep. And he was wet through. Why are paper diapers so leaky? Why, oh why? Why does my boy have the worst diaper rash ever when I put him in the cloth diapers I would really rather use? Why, tell me, why? Why, why, why?

Enough. To breakfast.

So, this is a blog....

2005-06-16T16:09:00.000-05:00

Well, this is my very first blog entry. Not sure if I am going to actually do this or not, but hey, it is nice to dream. I left the title purposefully vague as to subject matter, since I can't decide on what kind of blog to have. Knitting? Science Fiction? Motherhood? All possiblities. But since I can't decide, I guess I will just have to wing it for now.