Thursday, June 23, 2005

The plagues continue....

Now, for those of you who don't know, our house is constantly being beset by plagues of insects. In the last year, we have had cockroaches, woodroaches, camel crickets, giant ants, fleas, and frogs. Okay, I admit that frogs are not insects, but bear with me. Last night the latest in a long line of home invaders began its slow, slimy charge in the kitchen. Yes, slime. Slugs have been oozing their way between the door and the jam to enter my kitchen and gorge on dog food. Yes, dog food. I had no idea that slugs eat dog food. Three different times I had to evict slugs from my kitchen. One had almost made it to the dog's bed.

Hmm. Do you think maybe I have slugs that think they are dogs? Maybe the first one to taste of the glorious dogfood caused a strange mutation that has affected the entire community of slugs living by my kitchen door. Maybe soon I will hear faint barking and whining in the night, and then they will start to leave little slug-dog turds all over my front step. Maybe I could attach tiny threadlike leashes and lead them, slowly, around the block. Maybe they will be so happy when I return from an errand that they will jump, slowly, up on my legs and bark, demanding to be patted on their shiny slug heads.

Ewwwww. Please feel free to join me in a shudder of disgust.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

put a line of table salt along the
doorway. Slugs won't cross salt and it's not poisonous, so it can't hurt Bonnie. :)

quax said...

But then this will remind Sara of her childhood trauma when she horribly killed and tortured a slug with salt out of sheer curiousity.

Rose said...

oh me...haha...I read somewhere to put a copper strip across their path, they won't cross it, for some electrical reason? Duh