Spam, smap, samp, amps, maps....

Ah, the wonders of that magical faux meat. Or rather, the junk in my now almost entirely unusable old email address. I kind of enjoy reading the subject lines, though. They make me laugh. Like, "Happy Father's Day, Sara" or "Have you been ignoring me?".

I had a progressively bitter woman named Linda Strickland spamming me for a while. She began like an old Tracy-Hepburn movie, with "Sara, Linda Strickland here..." She realized her mistake from my radio silence, and continued in High School essay form with, "Why should I do this? from Linda Strickland." At my lack of response she continued with "Sara, Here is the information you requested." Linda, I did no such thing. Finally, she got a little too personal, writing, "Are you internet challenged?" Actually, no, bitch.

But my all time favorite has got to be the following offer I found this morning (please imagine the word sic covering this entire letter):

"Our bank in Cary reviewefd your data and we are acceptineg your motrgage applicatvion. You have bad credibt? No problem at all!
You can get $300,000 with 3.6 %. Please activxate your approvral here
(website deleted)

Thank you.

Best Regards,
Gregorio Pittman
General Manager"

Wow. That really inspires trust, don't you think?

p.s. I kind of like "smap." I think I will refer to it as smap from now on.